Jessie

I had several VCUGs starting when I was a baby and ending when I was 5. I still remember them, no matter how hard I try to forget. I was too young to understand why my parents were letting people restrain me and hurt me in my private area. I’m angry that the medical staff would get annoyed at me for kicking and screaming. I’m extremely angry that sedation and pain relief were never offered. I'm angry that my parents never asked. I’m devastated that other people went through the same thing. I’m 40 now and still have nightmares, panic attacks, and flashbacks. I have vaginismus and a lifelong fear of sexual intimacy. I’m too scared to get a Pap smear or even a pelvic exam. For most of my life I thought I was overreacting and was ashamed. But now I’m starting to see that my trauma is real and valid. I was repeatedly and brutally violated by people who were supposed to help me. It’s medical rape. No one, especially young children, should go through that.