Trigger warning: This post addresses sensitive topics regarding VCUG trauma recovery, including suicidality and other potentially triggering information. Please proceed with care.
Since launching the Unsilenced Movement in early 2023, our grassroots organization has connected with thousands of former VCUG patients worldwide. While our community includes survivors of all ages, genders, and backgrounds, one thing is clear: as former VCUG patients, we have a lot in common.
"I’m so glad I came across [Unsilenced]. So many people have gaslit me about my child’s trauma with medical procedures. I can see the effects though, so many years later. No one else believes me."
"I don’t have the memory, but my body does. I had no idea other people were traumatized by this, too. It’s a living nightmare."
In this blog, we’ll explore similarities among VCUG survivors and examine the barriers that diminish their health and quality of life.
What Health Effects Do VCUG Survivors Have in Common?
Below are some common health outcomes associated with voiding cystourethrograms (VCUGs). These observations are based on decades of research and years of experience hosting support groups for survivors on a global scale.
"I am soon to turn 54. Fifty years of VCUG trauma. To this day, I live with debilitating PTSD and significant psychological barriers to accessing healthcare. VCUG trauma nearly cost me my life. It has had a profoundly detrimental impact on my life for half a century."
"I was subjected to this [at age] 4. I have never felt safe in this world since. Severely traumatic. Absolutely scarring."
"Painful, humiliating, and completely violating. I remember every second of mine, 30 years later."
Traumatic Play
Many VCUG patients report traumatic reenactment following their procedure(s). Children who undergo child sexual abuse often engage in “traumatic play” or reenactment, where they act out, repeat, or replay aspects of a traumatic event in an effort to regain mastery or control.
In the context of child sexual abuse (CSA), a child may reenact parts of the abuse, even if they do not fully understand or have the words to describe what happened to them. For example, a child might use dolls or stuffed animals to act out interactions that resemble the abuse and mirror the actions or emotions they experienced.
Traumatic play can serve as a way for the child to process their feelings or try to make sense of overwhelming and confusing events. Traumatic play isn’t limited to reenacting the abuse itself, but can also involve themes of power, fear, control, and secrecy, which are often part of the dynamics of sexual abuse.
Developmental Regression
Developmental regression may occur immediately after VCUGs in the form of bedwetting, thumb-sucking, clinging to caregivers, speech difficulties, and loss of previously mastered skills (e.g., potty training). This happens when a traumatic event overwhelms the child’s ability to cope, leading them to revert to earlier behaviors.
Lifelong Avoidance of Medical Care
Perhaps one of the most significant and dangerous effects of VCUG trauma is chronic avoidance of medical care. In the first-ever study on the long-term health outcomes of VCUGs, 20% of former patients haven’t had pap smears, 15% “will never go” to an OB/GYN, and 11% refuse urological care, compared to 1-5% of the control group.
VCUG patients are also more likely to give themselves lower self-ratings for health: the average rating was 59/100 for VCUG patients and 70/100 for the control group.
"I’ve had this done and I’m scared of anyone touching me down there. About to give birth and it brings back all that trauma."
Fear of Sex & Intimacy
Many former VCUG patients struggle with romantic relationships, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. Due to the traumatic sexual nature of the procedure, children often learn to associate sexual sensations or activity with pain, fear, and a violent violation of their bodily autonomy. This can make it difficult to engage in consensual sex, even in healthy long-term relationships.
Suicidality & Self-Harm
Many VCUG patients report experiencing suicidal thoughts/attempts and engaging in self-injurious behaviors from an early age into young adulthood or beyond. This is consistent with research from the National Center for PTSD:
“Those who self-harm appear to have higher rates of PTSD and other mental health problems. Self-harm is most often related to going through trauma in childhood rather than as an adult. Those who self-harm very often have a history of childhood sexual or physical abuse.”
Research from the Association of Child Protection Professionals states:
“Child sexual abuse (CSA) has serious short-term and long-term effects, including non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) and suicidal ideation (SI). One possible thread linking CSA to NSSI and suicide risk is emotion dysregulation."
Revictimization
Patients who experience VCUG trauma often experience continued abuse in childhood and adulthood. Many survivors report being sexually assaulted as kids or adults due to their “fight-or-flight” response kicking in. Others find themselves in domestic violence and abusive relationships without the ability to leave due to unresolved trauma and PTSD from their VCUGs. This can cause freezing or dissociation during sexual scenarios and other life events, putting survivors at a high risk of revictimization.
“I was restrained by my need to be a good child. Nobody glued me to that cold table except for myself. Be good. Be good. Be good. It was drilled into me from birth. Be a good child. Listen. Do what adults tell you to do. Don’t let anyone touch you there. They’re doctors though, so it’s okay. What’s so okay about being violated by someone whose entire job is about helping children?”
“I’ve forgiven you many times over the past few years and I still am forgiving you. You stole so much from me that day. When I walked out the door, I left most of my innocence on that table. My ability to trust doctors, my sense of autonomy, my self-esteem, my self-worth.”
“There is a life that I will never know because of what you did to me. I’ll never know who I would have been if you didn’t torture me. The trauma you caused changed me drastically. Would I have been able to avoid being abused by my ex? Would I have maintained a life without crippling depression and anxiety attacks? I’ll never know who I could have been if you hadn’t touched my body.”
Chronic Pain & Health Conditions
Early childhood stress alters brain development and hormonal balance, impacting the body's ability to regulate stress responses and contributing to chronic health issues later in life. Research supports a strong correlation between adverse childhood experiences (“ACE”) and poor health, including a higher risk of cancer, mental illnesses, cardiovascular diseases, and early death. Many patients report chronic pain and illnesses after VCUGs, including vaginismus, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and autoimmune disorders.
“I am 24, at least 18 years older than my first VCUG. As I got older, I remembered more and more of the story for myself, in all its horrifying details. I was riddled with panic attacks, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and complete distrust of any medical professional. I avoided doctors at all costs, didn’t go to the dentist for ten years straight, and panicked at the thought alone of going to the gynecologist.”
“I want to make this part very clear. The VCUG broke me on a fundamental level. I lost my sense of safety in the world around me. I lost my sexual innocence. I lost trust in everything. I lost my confidence. I lost my smile for a long time. I lost memories, my sense of childhood, and the ability to dream for my future. I didn’t think that there was anything for me in life but to be inevitably tortured despite my best efforts. When I was 16, I wrote a suicide letter that I told myself wasn’t one. I thought, ‘Just in case I suddenly die, I will have something left behind.’ I didn’t realize how close I was to planning ways to die.”
Join the Unsilenced Movement
Join the Unsilenced Movement to help us advocate for overdue reform in pediatric urology. Because kids deserve better. #MoreThanATest
Are you or a loved one healing from VCUG trauma? Visit our website to view upcoming support groups, share your story, and learn more about VCUG trauma recovery.
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