As former VCUG patients, coming to terms with VCUG trauma for the first time is often one of the most difficult things we’ll ever do. Many survivors are understandably overwhelmed, especially in the initial stages of their healing journey, which involves experiencing powerful emotions like anger, grief, and isolation.
Abby, 24, remembers how she felt after discovering the wealth of VCUG research equating the test to child sexual abuse. “I just don’t even know where to start or how to deal with this,” she explains. “I feel so alone in the world.”
Emilee, 27, remembers a lot of sleepless nights. “I was discovering this community while I was engaged to my husband,” she says. “So there were a lot of nights where he just hugged me, and held me while I cried.”
While there is no one-size-fits-all for VCUG trauma recovery, relational healing can be a major and impactful part of our healing journeys. For many of us, that means connecting with fellow women who understand our experience in ways the world can’t. The good news is, we don’t have to heal alone.
6 Recommendations for Your VCUG Healing Journey
There’s no question about it: facing the long-term impacts of VCUG trauma for the first time can be physically, emotionally, and mentally debilitating. While there is no perfect way to navigate your healing journey, our Unsilenced community is here to offer support, encouragement, and compassion. Many former patients have kindly shared “tips and tricks” for VCUG trauma recovery that they themselves wish they had known before embarking on their healing journeys.
In this blog, we’ll explore some advice from women who have been in your shoes. Without further ado, here are thoughtful recommendations from 6 former VCUG patients in hopes of aiding fellow survivors on their healing journeys.
1. “Find an outlet. Whatever that means for you.” -Abby H., 24
Abby H., 24, shares her advice for anyone starting their VCUG healing journey: Find your outlet. “It can be something calming; it can be whatever,” Abby says. “It can be art—you know, maybe you paint; maybe you pick up pottery. Maybe it’s literally just doodling, writing poetry, music…Something athletic—it could be hiking. It could be ‘Go pick up a kickboxing class.’ It doesn’t matter, but find an outlet, because you are going to have huge emotions. And if you’re first Googling it, you don’t know the way these next few months are going to go. Everybody is different.”
For Abby, weightlifting and Brazilian jujitsu have been a significant part of her healing journey. “You don’t have to go get a $150 gym membership,” she points out. “You can literally pick up a log and two gallon containers in your backyard. That’s it.”
Abby adds that Brazilian jujitsu “saved my life, in more ways than one.” For starters, it was super cathartic. “Just learning to be comfortable with physical touch from people that had nothing to do with sexual touch,” she explains. “Before, physical touch from a person was a no-go. After three years of doing women’s jujitsu, I’m like, ‘I’m a hugger!’”
2. “Spend time with that younger version of yourself.” -Ashley M., 20
“At the beginning of this healing journey, you just have to have a lot of patience with yourself,” says Ashley M., 20. “A lot of self-compassion. Because it’s very overwhelming.”
Ashley says the first thing she’d say to anyone struggling with VCUG trauma is to take time for yourself. “Honestly, spend time with that younger version of yourself,” she says. “That little you that was so violently hurt. Do things with her that she would want to do. Say things to her that she would want to hear. Journal to her; write letters to her. That’s something that’s been really helpful in my healing journey.”
3. “There’s no ‘correct’ way to deal with this. You just have to be compassionate toward yourself, and say, ‘It’s okay to not be okay right now.’” -Mollie, 22
For Mollie, 22, the advice she would offer to former patients is “the same piece of advice I wish had been told to me: You have to be okay with how you react to the procedure.”
Like many former patients, Mollie touches on the importance of practicing acceptance, self-compassion, and surrendering control. “You may not like the way you react,” she points out. “You may not want to be angry and sad about it, but you have to be okay with it. And know that, you know, ‘Something horrible happened to me. And there’s no correct way to deal with this. And I can’t just move on like it was nothing.’ So I’m going to process it the way that my ‘self’ wants to process it—the way that my brain and body want to process it. You just have to be compassionate toward yourself, and say, ‘It’s okay to not be okay right now.’”
4. “Take your time…It’s hard to resist going down the rabbit hole, but if you can, control yourself. Maybe limit it to one story a day.” -Emilee, 27
Emilee, 27, remembers many sleepless nights after learning about VCUG trauma for the first time. When asked what advice she would share with former VCUG patients, Emilee, 27, says, “Take your time, and take care of yourself.” She mentions her own struggles with insomnia, when it felt like her anger was consuming her. “I could feel the effect on other parts of my health, too,” she points out. “GI issues, shaking, sweating, not sleeping well…There were nights I didn’t sleep when I was first reading about all this stuff.”
More than anything, Emilee says, “Practice self-care. Make sure you’re eating; make sure you’re drinking water. If you can, take some time off of work, because it’s hard to be productive, too. It’s almost like a grieving process, right? It’s hard to resist going down the rabbit hole, but if you can, control yourself. Maybe limit it to one story a day.”
5. “You’re not alone. You’re not dramatic. You’re not flawed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you.” -Ashley G., 20
For Ashley G., 20, relational healing has been a significant part of her healing journey. “If I’m imagining myself in that position, when I was first kind of discovering it, I don’t think there is much I could’ve told myself to make myself feel better,” Ashley explains. “I think a very important part of healing is connecting with people, even if it’s not other survivors. Have other people tell you that you’re not alone.”
If she could share one thing with fellow patients, Ashley responds, “You’re not alone. You’re not dramatic. You’re not flawed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you. And there is an explanation for why everything in your life has happened to you. And every way that you feel now, there’s an explanation for it.”
6. “Work on believing yourself, because that’s the important part.” -Abby S., 22
Abby S., 22, shares powerful advice for former patients. “Don’t blame yourself,” she says. “Work on believing yourself, because that’s the important part. Not everyone will believe you. It’s the harsh reality of this, but just learn to believe yourself. Because you need that internal validation. It’s that self-doubt that’s the most harmful.”
She adds, “I’m not trying to say, ‘Don’t talk about it. You won’t be believed.’ I’m just trying to say that some people will find any excuse not to believe you. Believe yourself.”
Join the Unsilenced Movement
The Unsilenced Movement was founded by former VCUG patients to advocate for overdue reform in pediatric urology. Hundreds of women have courageously joined Unsilenced voices to demand change after experiencing long-term harm due to sexual and medical trauma after voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG), all while hospitals and providers quietly continue to perform this pediatric procedure—which has persisted unchanged for over 34 years—without disclosing its severe and lasting effects.
Help us raise awareness about the life-threatening risks of VCUG, educate about safer alternatives, and connect families with needed resources for healing. Because kids deserve better. #MoreThanATest
Excellent advice here. Thank you.